CONDON COMDOM
FIRST CONDON
THE FIRST CONDOM.
Fragment of the book SHORT TALES FOR ADULTS.
Orlando Vicente Álvarez.
It is the story of a teenager who saw his friends boast that they had two eternal condoms in their pockets.
At last he had his first girlfriend and he was burning for making love.
He went to the pharmacy and waited for the pharmacist man to come out, but at the same time the pharmacist left and came a woman.
Self-conscious, he was asked what he wanted. His tongue stuck and he said stammering:
-A one with ... with ... a con...con... conservative, please.
The pharmacists looked at each other and said:
_A conservative of what? You mean a condom, it's not like that, "said the man.
· That, that ... a pre ... preser ... va ... tivo.
Once the demand was satisfied, the boy was perplexed where he would hide it from his parents' sight. It occurred to him to put it on the tip of the shoe that in those days were leather and he put the stockings on top to be sure.
When the big night came, in a dark park full of trees they got excited and when the boy was very hot he wanted to take off the condom but had to undo shoelaces and take off his shoe.
The act was brief. When they finished - two minutes later, the boy was without a shoe and the girl complained that her parents were going to kill her.
At last the boy found the shoe and the middle one among the brush.
At two months: pregnancy, but everything was resolved with a fast wedding.
A boy was born.
As the condoms had two butterflies in the front. The baby was named Papillon.
Moral: never trust the Chinese condoms that were the only ones that entered Cuba in those times.
Fragment of the book SHORT TALES FOR ADULTS.
Orlando Vicente Álvarez.
It is the story of a teenager who saw his friends boast that they had two eternal condoms in their pockets.
At last he had his first girlfriend and he was burning for making love.
He went to the pharmacy and waited for the pharmacist man to come out, but at the same time the pharmacist left and came a woman.
Self-conscious, he was asked what he wanted. His tongue stuck and he said stammering:
-A one with ... with ... a con...con... conservative, please.
The pharmacists looked at each other and said:
_A conservative of what? You mean a condom, it's not like that, "said the man.
· That, that ... a pre ... preser ... va ... tivo.
Once the demand was satisfied, the boy was perplexed where he would hide it from his parents' sight. It occurred to him to put it on the tip of the shoe that in those days were leather and he put the stockings on top to be sure.
When the big night came, in a dark park full of trees they got excited and when the boy was very hot he wanted to take off the condom but had to undo shoelaces and take off his shoe.
The act was brief. When they finished - two minutes later, the boy was without a shoe and the girl complained that her parents were going to kill her.
At last the boy found the shoe and the middle one among the brush.
At two months: pregnancy, but everything was resolved with a fast wedding.
A boy was born.
As the condoms had two butterflies in the front. The baby was named Papillon.
Moral: never trust the Chinese condoms that were the only ones that entered Cuba in those times.
EL PRIMER CONDÓN. Fragmento del libro CUENTOS BREVES PARA ADULTOS. Orlando Vicente Álvarez.
EL PRIMER CONDÓN.
Fragmento del libro CUENTOS BREVES PARA ADULTOS.
Orlando Vicente Álvarez..
Es la historia de un adolescente que veía a sus amigos jactarse de que llevaban dos condones eternoss en el bolsillo.
Al fin tuvo su primera novia y estaba ardiendo por hacer el amor.
Fue a la farmacia y esperó que saliera el farmacéutico a atender pero a la vez salió la farmacéutica.
Cohibido a más no poder le preguntaron qué deseaba. Se le trabó la lengua y dijo tartamudeando:
-Un con… con… un conservativo, por favor.
Los farmacéuticos se miraron uno al otro y le dijeron:
_¿Un conservativo de qué? Querrás decir un preservativo, no es así- dijo el hombre.
·Eso, eso… un pre… preser… va…tivo.
Ya satisfecha la demanda el chico quedó perplejo de donde lo escondería de la vista de sus padres. Se le ocurrió colocarlo en la punta del zapato que en aquellos tiempos eran de cuero y se colocó las medias por encima para estar bien seguro.
Cuando llegó la gran noche, en un parque oscuro lleno de árboles se entusiasmaron y cuando el chico estaba bien caliente quiso sacarse el condón pero tuvo que desabrochar cordones y quitarse el zapato.
El acto fue breve. Cuando terminaron- dos minutos después, el chico estaba sin un zapato y la chica se quejaba de que se sus padres la iban a matar.
Al fin el chico encontró el zapato y la media entre la maleza.
A los dos meses: el embarazo, pero todo se resolvió con una boda rápida.
Nació un varón.
Como los condones tenían dos maripositas en el frente. Al bebé le pusieron por nombre Papillón
Moraleja: nunca confíes en los condones chinos que eran los únicos que entraban en Cuba en aquellos tiempos.
miércoles, 14 de febrero de 2018
gallos : #cockfighting, #Guantanamo, #heir, #raul castro, #realengo 18
HUMOR: RAUL CASTRO WANTS TO BE BURRIED IN STGO OF CUBA.
HUMOR: RAUL CASTRO WANTS TO BE HATED IN STGO DE CUBA.
Raul Castro, in an interview with government media, said that what is most strange are cockfighting and scavenging by scavenger birds on his private ranch in realengo 18 on a mountain in the mountains of Guantánamo. It cost him more than Fidel to stop smoking.
Now the power has gone to his head. He wants to be remembered more than Fidel. And that they walk it by all the island until the Great Stone, decorating the stone with a thought:, "Here lies the second brother of Fidel but the one that had more balls"
They had spent decades humiliated and even said "dad" to Fidel in a speech. But now his revenge arrives like the ancient pharaohs. He wants to be buried with his living lover and a bowl of water so that she dies of starvation.
And poor Vilma Espin is left alone in the pantheon of the FAR.
Nothing, that the guy in his senile dementia has gone up the smoke and leaves an heir who will follow his same steps without changing anything.
Raul Castro, in an interview with government media, said that what is most strange are cockfighting and scavenging by scavenger birds on his private ranch in realengo 18 on a mountain in the mountains of Guantánamo. It cost him more than Fidel to stop smoking.
Now the power has gone to his head. He wants to be remembered more than Fidel. And that they walk it by all the island until the Great Stone, decorating the stone with a thought:, "Here lies the second brother of Fidel but the one that had more balls"
They had spent decades humiliated and even said "dad" to Fidel in a speech. But now his revenge arrives like the ancient pharaohs. He wants to be buried with his living lover and a bowl of water so that she dies of starvation.
And poor Vilma Espin is left alone in the pantheon of the FAR.
Nothing, that the guy in his senile dementia has gone up the smoke and leaves an heir who will follow his same steps without changing anything.
martes, 24 de abril de 2018
Humor: Raul Castro quiere que lo entierren en Stgo de Cuba.
HUMOR: RAUL CASTRO QUIERE QUE LO ENTIERREN EN STGO DE CUBA.
Raúl Castro en una entrevista que ofreció a medios oficialistas dijo que lo que más extraña son las peleas de gallo y la caza con rifle de aves carroñeras en su finca privada del realengo 18 en un monte internado en las montañas de Guantánamo. Le costó más que a Fidel dejar de fumar.
Ahora el poder se le ha ido a la cabeza. Quiere ser recordado más que Fidel. Y que lo paseen por toda la isla hasta la Gran Piedra, decorando la piedra con un pensamiento suyo, “Aquí yace el segundón de Fidel pero el que tenía más cojones”
Habían pasados décadas humillado y hasta le dijo “papá” a Fidel en un discurso. Pero ahora llega su venganza como los antiguos faraones. Quiere ser enterrado con su amante viva y un tazón de agua para que muera de inanición.
Y la pobre Vilma Espín se queda solita en el panteón de las FAR.
Nada, que al tipo en su demencia senil se le han subido los humos y deja un heredero que seguirá sus mismos pasos sin cambiar nada.
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